It's crazy to think about it sometimes. How we wounded up together. We've been friends for so long, and that's all that we knew how to be to each other. But now, he's not just my good friend, he's this wonderful and kick ass guy I'm dating. We became a big part of each other's lives shortly this year due to the events in our lives that pulled us together. Sometimes when we're both laying in bed, he always talks about the day that started it all. Above and Beyond. Sometimes I tell him how surreal it all feels. Like, are we really doing this? Are we really trying? Are we really dating? It honestly does not get any realer than this. I haven't been this happy in such a long time, and at the same time, this has never felt so right.After my relationship was over with my ex-boyfriend whom I was in love with. I was always skeptical of relationships, and I prided myself with being too proud for love, and being too independent to be in a relationship. I It so happens that my previous relationship with my ex recently, it just showed me what I did and did not want. After it ended, it really opened my eyes to a lot of things. With this relationship, I get so scared to be too happy so at times. That old part of me who wants to be on her own comes back. But Josh pulls me back and calls me out on all of my bullshit. I have NEVER had anyone that called me out on my bullshit and told me to trust them. He challenges me, and I think that's wonderful. I had to deal with a lot of unnecessary drama because of him, but in the end, it's all worth it. In the end, I got the person I want, and fortunately enough for me, they want me back.
Everyday that we wake up together, I am greeted by his presence and every night we fall asleep I am wrapped up in his arms. It's just so safe. The last thing I hear is his breathing or snoring. I don't mind it one bit having this guy snore in my ears as we spoon away into deep sleep. I don't mind it at all.
It scares me to be too happy...I am such a pansy because I'm afraid that if I get attached, I'll give him the power to hurt me. It took me awhile to realize, I'm not the only one who's putting my heart on the line. The days I spend being scared and fearing the unknown, the more time I'm wasting. He kind of makes being scared a journey, an adventurous journey I might add.
Like crazy♥
