How many times?

Friends come and go. I should know that line more than anyone. It's nothing I'm happy about when I lose a friendship but honestly, if I really think the friendship was worth going through all the trouble then I probably would've made a lot of effort to try and make it work. It's just like love, if it's not like before and change has occur so much, why try so hard when you know deep down it's not going to work out in the end. I guess you can say I don't care as much as I used to. Consider me careless but it's not a big deal to me. I would only put effort and time into a friendship if I wasn't the only one trying for it. I don't care about a lot of people and things actually, especially what they think of me, and to me that's a good thing. You care so much about someone that your caring and concerns goes to waste because it's not like they appreciate it anyway. Sometimes I feel bad, sometimes I feel sad and sometimes even a little bit forgotten but then I realized, this has to happen either way. I chose for it to be this way for a reason.

• I gave you so many chances in our friendship. You know how many times I've been there for you through it all? How many times I forgave you for screwing me over? I didn't even mind if you weren't there for me, all I cared was how to cheer you up when you're down, talk you through girl problems, and just your happiness. Yet, still, you are a such a bad friend to me. You're not there for me at all, once you were but that was only once. I was always a good friend to you, now I'm someone you come to when no one else is there for you. I am no one's rebound friend, and you've lost my trust a long time ago when I notice what a two-face you are. I can't trust anyone who has lost my trust for the five hundredth time. Our friendship is most likely dunzo because I put SOOOOO much effort to being there for you and you don't care, nor appreciate, or even understand how hurt I was when you started neglecting this friendship.

This time of year, I am so grateful for every single darn thing I have in my life. Great family, good friends, amazing boyfriend, and my baby chocolate chip<3 I don't need much to be happy, I don't have a lot like others, but I sure got everything I need already and that makes life so much better.