I don't know.

Or I just don't care. Just piss me off because this is going nowhere, I try so hard to make things better and I complicate things to see how strong we are. But I don't know, I keep thinking about the future and thinking about how soon enough, I am just going to get up and leave. You know I get sad to see if you worry about me, see if you care enough to try and cheer me up or make me feel better. But you don't, it's like you don't have common sense or something and you think if you leave it alone, it'll go away. Everytime you don't care when I'm sad or mad at you, you just distance yourself away from me. I just see you as someone who I can't depend on or tell my deepest concerns to. Well I'm telling you now, once I graduate I'm intending to leave. Apparently I don't have a lot of reasons to stay here, at least you don't give me enough reasons to stay. All you do is push me away and most of all, you don't even seem sad when we're not around each other. It's been a long time since I didn't get to see you and when I do there's always a time limit. Considering yesterday when you said you'll hangout with me then just because your friends finally decided to call you up, then you go get high with them. Then what happened, I can only hangout with you for a bit because you have work the next day. That's why sometimes I rather not even see you at all, I know it shouldn't matter where or how long we get to spend time, but don't you think it' hurts me to only see you for a while and want to see you even more? Did it ever occur to you I've been so selfish lately because I feel like I can no longer keep your interest or even keep you? Yes, I'm admitting right now I am to that point again where I'm insecure about our relationship. But who can blame me, we live in the same city but it feels like you live on the other side of the country. You don't try to make me happy, you say all of these things so I can believe you'll do it, but you never do. You never want to do anything with me, you never feel like you should do anything for me because we've been together for so long. Maybe the reason we were together back then doesn't even hold up anymore now. Funny how this time last year we were on a break over a guy, now our relationship is worse again. And it's because you're too blind to see what's right in front of you. I wish you cared about me enough to realize how bad you're hurting me and actually do something about it instead of leaving it alone. But I believe you take the closest thing to you for granted because you think it'll always be there. Well I'm telling you now, there are days where I just want to let it all go and not care anymore because there's no point in caring for something so much when all it does is hurt you.