kill them with kindness.

Goodbye my almost lover...

I do think about it every night, if I really made the right decision. Knowing how hurt you are, just makes me realize so much things even more. I never meant for you to be hurt, God knows I would never want to intentionally hurt you. I really did love you with all of my heart, I really did try, and try, and try...but you didn't meet me halfway. I like to believe I did everything I could, and I did. There was nothing else for me to do. I never got the same reassurance back that you still love me. It was always put away or hidden, because you prided yourself as a guy. Honestly, you were such an amazing boyfriend, you really were. Despite all of your flaws I still really loved you. I remembered being so crazy about you when I started to like you, and when we were together I never felt happier. Then somewhere along the way we lost ourselves, we became two different people with different values and interests. The reasons we were together didn't hold up anymore. As much as I was willing to wait for you, I just couldn't anymore...enough was enough. You didn't take the opportunities or chances I gave you to make things right. If you really wanted to be with me, you would know; you'd know. But the fact you didn't want a girlfriend, it showed me that you didn't want to be with me. I know I ended things but at least I made sure you knew I still loved you. I wasn't going to wait until you were ready to
be committed again to pick up where we left off. I just couldn't. All of these times we were broken up and apart, there wasn't a single day that went by that I didn't love you disregards the bad times we had. I know how bad it must feel right now, I know it hurts. At least I can imagine. But it's sad to say, throughout our relationship you hurt me so much, almost all the time and this is the only one time I ever hurt you, yet I still care for you more than you care about me. I just want to make sure you're okay, I just want to be there for you still. But I can't expect you to be okay with this. I know it isn't easy. I don't want you to feel as if I've replaced you, you really meant almost everything to me. Two years together, come on now. You're still a very big part of my life whether you like it or not, and I still want you in it day in and day out. Just because I've moved on doesn't mean we can't be there for each other anymore. You were like my best friend, and I know it's going to be so tough but we can make it through if you just let me in.