Sayanora 2011, alooo 2012! =)

2011 was not my best year, but it was a good year overall. Every year, every day I mean, you're always learning, you're always growing, you're always hurting, and you're always healing. When it all comes down to it, it's not what scarred you that you'll look back on, it's your attitude and how you pulled through that matters the most. And if anything, if in the moment it was complete sh*t, for the most part you can laugh about it years later.

I've come a long way from how I used to be. I used to be less opened about things, I used to not be able to be honest with myself about my feelings, therefore, I wasn't honest with that many people. I still am a private person, but I'm slowly but surely letting those who are worth it in my life. I'm still the exact same girl with some of the same habits and I'm still the same person I was a year ago, two years ago, three years ago. But a lot about me has changed too. Sometimes I'm not sure if it's for the better or for the worse; sometimes it doesn't feel much of a difference. All I know is that for the first time in my life, I am sure of where I want to be in life. For the first time in my life, I'm doing something for myself and I'm striving for my own happiness. I'm not thinking about what that person wants, what this person thinks of me, I'm not thinking about anyone else but myself. And for the first time ever, I am content with the thought of being selfish.

This year, I want to be able to make a difference, make a change, not only in my lifestyle but me as a whole. I want to be the best version that I can be, and better myself every single day to the best of my ability. I understand that a new year doesn't mean it's a new clean slate. The problems you had in 2011 doesn't just go away unless you do something about it. Just because it's a new year, doesn't mean that everything else is forgotten. But you can have a new attitude. I've always been known to be the positive, life-affirming, optimist. Mainly because I've always been positive to others, but now, I need to learn how to be positive to myself as well. I am given the opportunity and chance everyday to do something that I've always wanted to do. A chance to be brave, a chance to be courageous, a chance to do things I've never done before, and I know that I'm more lucky than mosts who don't even have the option. I'm going into 2012 with a more positive attitude than ever, and in the future, if there are certain obstacles that I find hard to face, I'll just have to fight through it and hope for the best. Life's too short to be scared, life's too short to be anything but happy.

Carpe Diem xx