--- I was attempting to reformat my computer so I had to go through all of my folders and I came upon so much pictures of Kevin and I. It's really amazing how much we grew, together, and individually. Two Summer's ago I was only 14 and he was 15, that's when we started dating. That's when I got so close to his family, I never felt so comfortable around so much people who aren't my family or friends, they're so amazing. We seriously went all around the world together. From camping to snowboarding, just everywhere. I miss those days where we would do anything to see each other. Bussing, walking, you name it. I even remember this one time I got into a fight with Kim so Kevin skated to my house at 4 in the morning to pick me up so I could sleepover. And this one time I was mad at Kevin and I was sick at the same time, and he skated from his grandma's house to my house and that's the first time he said he loved me =) Another year later, we were exactly like a married couple. But sometimes, in the end things don't work out. It sucks how we don't talk anymore, he's like my best friend. Now, when I think of him, I think to myself, who is he? I don't even know that person anymore. But I know, no matter what, deep down he's the same person I fell in love with, as much as I want to hate him, I can't. With all the bullshit and things we ever went through, we came out so much stronger. And I love him for that. And although we both are going our separate ways and everything has change, I will never want to forget about him. I can stop trying to be in his life and he can care less, but it doesn't make me appreciate him less because I will always cherish what we had. Corny as hell but I don't care, ha ha ha. On the real, this is me being honest.

"When you love someone, the best thing to do is just let them go."

summer nights,

I'm so falling in love with Summer...

Yesterday started out with going to the beach with Johnny, which was a total fail because by the time we got there, it was windy and cold. The weather was so gloomy to begin with so we just walked around Main St. and I was looking for clothes for Chocolate at AA because they sell cute doggie clothes at the AA on Main St. =) Totally missed the gym with the cuzzos so just headed back home, then ended up at Sammy's.

Later that night was really fun. I have to say probably one of my best nights yet =) I'm always modest especially when it comes to being around new people but after awhile I could really be myself, around the right people that is. I love when people are surprised at the things they least expect me to do or be good at. Shows that you shouldn't underestimate people. I totally own Jle, Tin D. and Brian in Horse =) I made every single one of my shots! Until the end I played one on one with Tin D. and lost to a bet. I did something that was totally not me but I always keep my word especially if I have lost. All fun in games though. And I beat everyone in Texas Holdem as well :) After playing ball everyone headed home. Tin was nice enough to take me home since Johnny went home early, and even though I live super far from everyone, and I mean everrrrrryone. When I got home I was about to head out to Seaside but then I realized, I've gone there 8 times out of 11 days that I went out at night. No more croissants or Seaside for me for awhile! Dude, and every single person in the house was sick, every single person and I happened to be the only one who isn't. So when I got home I took medicine right away like I always do so I can fight it off before it actually happens. I am not going to get sick this Summer, at least not anytime soon! Poor Johnny was the worst one and his face looked like he wanted to exploded. Ha ha ha, I'm going to kill them if I get sick. All in all though, I love Summer nights =)


I can't say it enough but I love nice genuine people. They totally make my heart melt, I swear.

"Why do you live so f_cking far dude?! You should be happy you're worth the drive."

They're the cutest<33333333333333333333333333333333333333333

taking a step back,

Sometimes all I think about is how to make everyone happy, then I think who is more important or matters more for me to make happy first, then I think to myself how I've never considered in making myself happy before I wanted to help the world reach their pursuit of happiness.

I went to Downtown Disney recently to hang out with Michael and Charlie, good updates as always. I somehow manage to always have a lot to say. Chill night though since I haven't seen Michael for awhile. It's still weird for me to talk to him because of our past, I hate when it's brought up out of nowhere. Learning from what happened to us, I feel as if friends should not ever like their friends. If you do, just stop. Easier said than done right? Well when your friends end up falling for you, things get complicated, and sometimes just out of proportion. In the end, when things doesn't work out, the friendship isn't even there anymore. I should know that more than anyone.

Anyway, night before that hung out with the guys again, as always.

I'm really grateful for those who make me happy and it's effortless too. Sometimes I think I'm too lucky, but it's because I learn to appreciate everything I have from the things I don't have.

I just had an epiphany earlier today. I see the world as everything happening for a reason, and with everyone passing away, I still wonder to myself if everything does happen for a reason. And I thought, good or bad, it does happen for a reason. Maybe those people pass away so the ones around them who never showed any love or appreciation to them will learn to appreciate those who are still alive in their life. Maybe they passed away to show how well they lived up their life and what a big impact they have left on this Earth. And I suddenly thought about myself. I'm sure every one of us have thought about death. And I think to myself, if it was to happen to me, what would happen? Would the friends I made who are no longer friends feel anything for me? Will they feel bad, sad, happy? Would the person who is mad at me regret being mad at me? How about the person who have always loved me but never said anything about it? What if I could've done something different to not lose the people I have lost in my life. What if I gave that one person a chance that they wanted? What if I voiced everything just for the sake of it to just get by everyday? What if I was to stay with the person I did love and never moved on? Maybe if I did this and that differently, would it make a difference? Then I snapped out of it. Life is not based on maybe's or what-ifs. You cannot be afraid of the outcome and stop living your life because you're scared. Take all the risks in the world, do what you need to, follow your guts even if it's a bad idea. Because as long as you're living, all you need to worry about is today. Not yesterday, not tomorrow, today. I realized that at this point, at this minute, I'm simply just living my life how I should. With mistakes, with broken hearts, with tears, smiles, laughters, lessons, curve balls, spontaneity, adventures, hope, faith, love, everythinggg. Without any of that, life is not worth living.

Life is just better lived being ridiculous than being afraid.

And relationship wise, I rather be alone than be with someone for all the wrong reasons. That's all there is to it.

love is...

-when Chocolate is sleeping on my tummy.
-watching fireworks at Downtown Disney.
-finding a new chapstick you love.
-going to Seaside with friends you have so much fun with.
-Atmosphere and Nujabes playing while I'm sleeping.
-finding a new song that say exactly how you feel.
-seeing someone you love at their best.
-my mom's cooking...sometimes.
-phone conversations that last for hours.
-when your friends admire/acknowledge you.
-saying 'I love you' and meaning it.
-having someone else saying 'I love you' and meaning it.
-playing volleyball for the love of the game.
-working out to the limit and getting a good sore afterwards.
-feeling as if you're not alone when you come upon a quote that say how you feel.
-saying what you mean and meaning what you say.
-having a new idea and having to write it down right away.
-tofu house anytime I want.
-snoozing with kimberly ann nguyen<3
-having dinner with my entire ohana together.
-baking for others just because.
-being the person everyone can come to about problems.
-having the sun at your face and the wind at your back.
-winning at a game you suck at.
-taking candid pictures that is worth a thousand words.
-long car rides that leads to nowhere.
-singing/dancing wildly in the car.
-Taking Back Sunday and The Postal service.
-loving yourself.
-trust, in yourself and in others.
-when you can call someone at 4 in the morning to complain about ants.
-when you can call someone at 4 in the morning, period.
-Zooey licking me nonstop.
-reading a really good book.
-my Paul Frank beach cruiser.
-just love.
-the best thing in the world.


I admit, I am a flawed person. I'm not the greatest person in the world, I probably won't ever be the greatest person. But everyday, my flaws today, allows me to be a better tomorrow. I don't ever need to be the greatest, I just need to be the bestest I can be.