Like everyone else, sometimes I forget.

Sometimes I get too caught up wanting more that I forget the whole meaning of love, the real true meaning of love. I always figured I'm the optimist in my relationship, but then when I think about it, I'm actually really the pessimist. I always prepare myself for the worse and always assume it's coming before it's even happening. I'm only like that because I believe I deserve the best, I believe the only person who deserves me is the one who truly know how to treat me right and love me. But sometimes I guess I forgot that love never fails, that love is enduring every change occurred and being there for that person regardless how much they have change into the person you're not used to. It's you who choose to love them for who they are and will love them for who they're going to become. I completely forgot that love is accepting. Accepting them for who they are, their flaws, their weaknesses and their worst. I always felt like I had to be a perfect girlfriend, just so I can be the "perfect somebody" for someone. But to be honest, I've always been a wreck. And it's easier to be a wreck than to be perfect. I guess that idea came to mind whenever I get scared, when I'm afraid, when I feel like I'm not enough. So by being that perfect girlfriend, they wouldn't go looking anywhere else because I am right in front of them. But then I realized, Kevin loved me when I was a wreck, when I wasn't perfect, and he will still love me now even if I'm still a wreck and is not perfect. I think that's the thing I forget most, love isn't about finding the right person, but creating the right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning, but how much love you build until the very end. I love my boyfriend so much, maybe that's why I'm so scared because you can't predict the future...you don't know what's coming until it hits you straight between your eyes. But if it's one thing I learn being in a relationship for almost two years, you just got to have faith and believe that no matter what happens, things will be okay.



Right now, I'm just so heavy-hearted. I don't feel like it's going anywhere, what happen to making effort to better your relationship? What happened to "I'll try harder, I'll better myself"? What happened to love never fails? I don't know what to think about love...maybe it's time to let go. No point in being with someone who doesn't even know what they have and take it for granted. It's not giving up, it's growing up.