You can't please everybody.

I'm fine with being there for my friends whenever they need me or need someone to talk to but really, I don't like when people are so emotionally dependent on me that they expect me to make everything right for them. You have to be logical and know, I can't make decisions for people if they're not going to follow through with their own will. I can say something but you have to take the initiative to do it. Even worse, when people are so pessimistic and they ask for your help/advice and don't even want to take it. What else can I do when all of the things I'm saying isn't going through their head. I understand if something hurts, trust me I've been there, but you have to learn to let go. You got to start somewhere and day by day just make progress to grow up. I'm really sick today with a fever, all I want to do is rest. At least be considerate about my health and not only care about your own problem ya'know? I mean seriously, learn from your own mistakes and stop trying to hold onto everything that isn't the same. Only us, ourselves, can make a situation harder than it already is. We bring it upon ourselves because we choose for it to be that way. I just want to turn off my phone sometimes so that for once I can have time for me and not worry about other people's problems that they expect me to change. You got to be the change you wish to see in the world.

- - - - - - - - -
Sometimes I wish you made more effort. You're right when you say it isn't enough for me, sorry that I want us to be happy and I know we can be happier. I wish you would take the initiative to do something nice for me, on your own or plan things for us because you miss me or think I deserve it. But that is never my choice. What I want, I can't get, what I need, I don't have, what I had, I don't know where it is anymore. How come things seem better off this way? Like being far apart isn't even a problem? Why is it that you still haven't realized I deserve to be treated better. It's not that you even treat me bad, we don't even see each other so that's not possible, but I need more love and affection from you.

I just need more of you...


So tired out, sick, drained. Goooosenye world.