kill them with kindness.

On another heavier, much heavier note;
I miss us being friends, I know we never officially stated we aren't friends anymore but I know I chose not to be your friend. I don't mind all the hurtful things I wrote about you, I don't regret that because that's how I feel. I can't help how I feel towards you. It's not as if you were such a good friend to me for me to feel bad that I stated you not a good friend. You know what I miss most? How you used to actually make effort, even if it was a little tiny ass effort it was still better than nothing. Then suddenly it was just all words. I can't talk to you anymore, I just feel stupid if I gave you another chance on our friendship. You're never the one to bring up the situation first, and I understand if you don't care or you're trying to avoid it but don't act like this whole thing is because of me. I chose to be bitter to you, I chose to express my anger on you, but I chose to be myself and be a friend and be honest. And you, you don't even try to talk to me to clear things up. You don't know how hurt I was, actually still am, because I feel like this whole time I'm just a convenient friend. I always say you party and stuff because that was always your main focus or your idea of having fun. I know I always say no to a party but it was always nice when you asked. Then you stopped asking, then you threw kickbacks at your house and never even mentioned or invite me, you also tried to hide it from me. How do you think that makes me feel? How can you even consider us close when you don't even try and talk to me? I can say I really do miss you, all the fun and laughs we had together, but I guess it really isn't worth being disappointed again and again, and again, and again. Just know, I was always here to listen, to care, to be your friend even if you didn't care about me.