Not once, but twice.

So here's the story, back in 8th grade during Winter Break I burned down my whole entire kitchen; the same house I am currently living in right now. You're probably wondering how stupid can I be leaving the stove on with a pot of oil but trust me, I was pretty forgetful when I multi-tasked. Back in the days I didn't even know boiling oil spatting out on foil would cause a fire. That day my cousins came over to hang out with me and next thing you know it, I remembered I was making french fries and Kat shouting,"Oh my gosh you're going to kill us!" Ran down, see only the reflection of red on my walls and look over a big huge fire that literally burned down everything in my kitchen. Everyone panicked and ran down, Dotty fell running down the stairs, we all got outside, I got my dog and put him outside the stable, Kat gave me a hose and I put it out. Called the firefighters and when they arrived the fire was already out, they smashed a hole into my kitchen wall to check if any pipes were leaking, then ran upstairs to check if everything was fine (the only reason why my carpet on the stairs is ridiculously black) and everyone waited outside. They wanted to call my mom, I didn't want to because I was scared to death but obviously if they didn't she'll still go home and wonder why in the world is her kitchen burn down. After they call her and she got home everyone was outside, I started having trouble breathing because I inhaled so much smoke and my hands were burned from heat. Got into the ambulance, hopped on the freeway and waved to people who could see me inside of it, got to the ER, got treated and had ointments and wore a cast, then went home after 3 hours to a house that I have accidentally put the kitchen on fire. I mean those accidents just make you look back and laugh (it wasn't funny at that time though) but you still think to yourself why were you so stupid. Now I almost did it again, just now while I'm on my computer, Karina asked, "Is something burning?" I run downstairs and completely forgot I was boiling eggs. FOR THESE 2 HOURS. The water evaporated and the pot is super black and so is the egg. My house now smells like a burnt pot. How is that I am so forgetful with these important things?! Well because I am talking to Dotty online, just like when I was talking to her 3 years ago when I burned down my kitchen. You shouldn't talk to me when I'm cooking! Well actually I shouldn't leave the stove unattended in the first place but I am so glad this time it's water. I personally still believe I would make a good housewife though..with just a bad attention span.


Anyway on a heavier note;
I have a feeling, sooner or later you'll forget me and forget the love we have. Just because time apart doesn't really make us stronger all the time, the distance kills us even more. I'm a person who believes long distant relationship can work if you put your heart and soul into it. But majority of the time, it really isn't possible because not only do you want to see the person, you want to be physically with them because that time is more precious than just a conversation every night or day. You want to be with them day in and day out and when you aren't, your days aren't complete without them. I'm not a clingy person, but for me, you can't just base a whole relationship on just talking on the phone/aim and not spending time together. That's a reason why people lose feelings because they don't see each other anymore or even spend time. I know absence makes the heart grows fonder, and really it does, because when I don't see Kevin I miss him more and when we finally get to see each other we're really happy and that's all that matters. But sometimes to me, that's isn't enough. You have to make time for a relationship, set priorities, balance out your life instead of neglecting another. Currently it's just all about school for him, and I do understand that's very important, but we don't even live a state away and we choose not to see each other for 5 minutes. I never thought of all of this as a problem or anything minor enough to hurt our relationship, I still don't, just I feel so optional in his life. Like he doesn't need a girlfriend, he just has one, he doesn't need to hang out with me, he just wants to whenever it's a good enough time for him, he doesn't need to put effort because I'll always be there by the end of the day. But sometimes, even by the end of the day, I still wait on the other side of the world for him, just waiting to feel like I'm terribly important for him to just once, just once, let everything in the world go and make me feel like I'm the only one existing in his world. I know a lot of you may not understand and think I'm just being pessimistic but trust me when I say, everyone's relationship is different, everyone's love is measured differently, everyone has different values when it comes to love. You won't understand how important it is unless you're me.