Something to live by.

Don't give a shit about anybody. Be selfish with what you want, think only about and for yourself. You care too much for other people who's going to give a shit about you? What do you want? Do something you've always wanted to do but couldn't because you were always so busy figuring out how to make others happy.

People can't please you until you please yourself. You have to know what makes you happy in order for others to catch on and make you happy the same way. No one knows what you want, but you.

I'm always taken for granted by those closest to me, whom I've always been there for. I guess because they only need me in "that area" of life, you know the area of needing someone to talk to only about problems. I've always try my hardest to help my friends when they need, no doubt about it, if you're sad at 5 in the morning you can call me, you have girl problems you can talk to me about it, you have family issues I'll talk you through it. I'm not saying I'm experienced in every areas of life but my advice is so much better than others. But how come in the end, that's just all they want? For someone to help them, and they don't really appreciate it in the end after they got the help they need. I feel flattered when people tell me I'm smart and deep, but to me it's not even a friendship or a bond, it's just a favor.

I've always come to realizations more and more each and everyday, that if I stop caring so much about how to make others happy, I can make myself really happy.

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You only talk to me when you need something. We only got close because I was there for you through your breakup and life/girl problems. But you're not there for me, I don't need you to be because I can handle my own problems. But the least you can do is be there for me as a friend like I've always been there for you. I'm so over trying to be there because I feel like even if I'm there for you more than most people are, I'm still last on your list. Doesn't matter how "close" we are because you worry too much about what other people think and how to make them happy.

The bad thing about being my friend is that, if you screw me over or you put no effort, or you show no sign of being a friend to me, I can care less whether we talk a lot or not. Why waste my time when I deserve better. Honestly. These past few years, I've learn to condition myself not to need anyone to rely on.

Anyway, Kim's 21st birthday was on Monday. Her friends and I surprised her at Eric's house at 11:45, not 12 because it's always expected. Tifffany picked me up, finished her birthday card in the car. Johnny, Susan and Jenny came, snuck in the garage then decorated the garage with streamers then Little Man, Nhan, Will and Binh came. Hid in the dark and surprised her! Afterwards went to eat Denny's, yummy =) Next day, supposed to eat dim sum but my mom procastinated for 2 hours so we ate Thai food instead. Even better! Today ate Dim Sum with Kim and my mommma. Need to work out tomorrow, for sure!

So I was fine with not going to Winter Formal then Kevin changed his mind again (for the 4th time) and wants to go so now we are. Vegas this weekend for Keeem & Jenny's 21st birthday + Valentine's day =) Try to bust a mission and make it back in time for Dotty's get-together!

My mom's ex-boyfriend won't stop calling and bothering her. She doesn't pick up his phone calls so he follows us to the doctors...how effffing scary.

I've been saying THE FUCK a lot. I didn't like to cuss but it's such a bad habit now. I don't care, I just don't fucking care! =) You shouldn't care what people think.

I love being optimistic :)