Take it or leave it,

You know, when I open my heart just a little, I feel so ridiculously stupid afterward. I give, and I give, and I give a little part of me just so someone can reject my efforts and not even notice my actions. I hate it. I hate feeling like this. Not again.

After Kevin, I really gave up on love. Not exactly give up, but I just didn't believe in it anymore. And so far, no one has proved to me that real love still exists. To be honest, if I'm going to be with someone, they better treat me really good, surprise me, love me, be there for me unconditionally and make me happy; otherwise get the f*ck out and stop wasting my time. I don't need anyone's bullshit. And hey, you may be a nice guy but if you don't give me more than I deserve then goodf*ckingbye because I am not here to settle for less. Let alone settle for just anyone. I know relationships isn't all about giving, but I need reassurance, I need chemistry, I need passion. If there's no passion then it's just an empty vase with nothing inside. And I'm young. Why in the world would I want to be in the stage of the relationship where people settle and is about ready to retire their lives and give up their youth. F*ck. I'm almost turning 18 and my relationship is like a 40 year old? No thanks.

Age doesn't matter. Age doesn't define you. Age doesn't mean sh*t. It's who you are and your mentality level that matters. I may seem all fun and games, but I am serious when I need to be. Just because my heart is wild and on the lighter side, doesn't mean I don't know what love is like. Trust me, I've been there. I was there for two years almost three loving someone with my heart until I couldn't love anymore. Just because I like to have fun doesn't mean I'm immature or anything. I just know how to keep the flame going. It means I have a lot of passion for the things I love, and for the people I love.

All I ever want is for someone to love me to the core. Love me everyday. Love me like it's their last breath with me. I want to feel special, I want to be surprised, I want to feel wanted and needed at the same time. I want to be put in the center of the universe because if someone wants to be with me that much, that's where they would put me.

Excuse my French.