For the longest time that I've known you since intermediate school, we've always gotten along. We've really meshed well together even though we were in different grades. I can still remember our late night aim convos because you're the kind of girl who never sleeps either. You were seriously one of the sweetest girls I've met, and it's sad that this has to happen. I didn't want to believe it when I heard the news. It's just one of those things where it feels so unreal because you actually knew this person. You were friends with this person and shared a memory, a moment, a time with this person. And now they're gone.
This isn't something my body accepts right away. Death can be just as unrealistic for me. I remember back then when Phoenix passed away, I cried a lot but in ways where I wasn't accepting it. I was telling myself,"no, he's not gone. It's not true." And sometimes I'd tell myself that he's on vacation or he moved away. It was if someone told me a rumor and I didn't know whether it was true or not. Until the day I went to his viewing and saw his body lying there in the casket, all cold and not breathing, that's when I knew. That's when I accepted it. The fact that my friend is dead. Now, I live across from his house where he used to live. I see his family walking in and out of the door and I'm patiently waiting to see him...but I know I never will.
I will never see Christina ever again, probably not until her funeral...it makes it that much more real saying it out loud, putting it out there, typing it down. I do think back and think that it's sad that we stopped talking when we went to different schools. We weren't even Facebook friends. We used to talk so much in middle school, and I kind of wished we still did. I think it's crazy still. How someone I know, someone I became friends with is now gone. For whatever reason why she chose to leave the world, I know at least she's in a much better place with Buddha and God. That sorrow and pain and heartache she felt down here, she no longer has feel it anymore.
I couldn’t find it in myself to blog about this because even until now, I still can’t believe it. It’s also one of those things where you wish you could’ve talked to that person more, or even done something different. But the fact of the matter is, everything happens for a reason. We can’t hold on to everyone in life just because we’re scared they’re going to disappear one day. But I know you’re in a much better place now. You will always be remembered, loved, and never forgotten sweet girl. May you rest in peace Christina Le, or like what I've always called you, Chrislina<3
This isn't something my body accepts right away. Death can be just as unrealistic for me. I remember back then when Phoenix passed away, I cried a lot but in ways where I wasn't accepting it. I was telling myself,"no, he's not gone. It's not true." And sometimes I'd tell myself that he's on vacation or he moved away. It was if someone told me a rumor and I didn't know whether it was true or not. Until the day I went to his viewing and saw his body lying there in the casket, all cold and not breathing, that's when I knew. That's when I accepted it. The fact that my friend is dead. Now, I live across from his house where he used to live. I see his family walking in and out of the door and I'm patiently waiting to see him...but I know I never will.
I will never see Christina ever again, probably not until her funeral...it makes it that much more real saying it out loud, putting it out there, typing it down. I do think back and think that it's sad that we stopped talking when we went to different schools. We weren't even Facebook friends. We used to talk so much in middle school, and I kind of wished we still did. I think it's crazy still. How someone I know, someone I became friends with is now gone. For whatever reason why she chose to leave the world, I know at least she's in a much better place with Buddha and God. That sorrow and pain and heartache she felt down here, she no longer has feel it anymore.
I couldn’t find it in myself to blog about this because even until now, I still can’t believe it. It’s also one of those things where you wish you could’ve talked to that person more, or even done something different. But the fact of the matter is, everything happens for a reason. We can’t hold on to everyone in life just because we’re scared they’re going to disappear one day. But I know you’re in a much better place now. You will always be remembered, loved, and never forgotten sweet girl. May you rest in peace Christina Le, or like what I've always called you, Chrislina<3
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