The minute that I find a flaw or something that I don't like, I kind of just bail from it. I just drop everything and I leave. I know it's something that I can easily change, but I'm so used to being like this. Being me. I've never been attached to things. I mean, I haven't since the 4th grade. Whether it was friends, boyfriends, or hobbies, I change them like how I change my socks. As much as I try to be logical, my heart just feels all tight, and uneasy. That's something that I can't help. You can tell yourself a million times that something is one thing, but the moment your feelings kick in, it tells you another.
I'm very strong, I know I am. But it's so much work sometimes. Sometimes I just want to curl up in a ball, wrap myself up in my blanket, listen to sad songs, get stuck on a book, paint and eat ice cream until I fall asleep. But when the time comes and I just want to be sad, I have no emotions in me. It's like my body rejects being sad. Or at least my brain does because the minute my heart feels like it's breaking, my brain just turns on and tell me to get over it. And the funny thing is, I always do.
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