I'm afraid to be too happy, of course I am. I don't want to get too used or attach to something because I know how it feels to have it one day then the next you don't. I've always prided myself with being too proud for love, and being on my own. I know I have to take some risks, and risk getting my heart broken if I want to achieve something beautiful. I'm just not sure if I want to put myself through that if it doesn't work out. I know, I know. There should not be any what-ifs, or maybes, but, I'm scared ya'know? I am so happy right now.
I've always considered myself unlucky. I'm one of those happy-go-unlucky people. Bad things happen to me almost all the time but I just shake it off. I know tough times don't last forever. But that's why I'm so afraid to be happy because I know it won't be for too long when everything I worked for will get pulled from right under me.
Pretending that I'm not scared has always been such an easy thing for me to do. For once though, I want to be scared and have someone tell me it's going to be okay without me having to convince myself that it will be.
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