Sometimes, all it takes is one person to change your mind about everything you didn't believe in.

I know it sucks that in the past, I didn’t try the best of my ability to be the girlfriend that certain wanted me to be. I was always my own person, and did whatever I wanted to do based on my attitude and how I felt about that person. Not saying that’s who I generally am, or that’s the type of girlfriend I am and have always been, and always will be. I just think that different people bring out different sides of you, and sometimes, they bring out the best in you as well.

I cannot fathom how happy I’ve been lately. I also cannot fathom even more how afraid it makes me. I am afraid of being too happy, I’m afraid of getting used to this feeling because I don’t want to get too attach. The thought of having something then have it pulled out from right under you makes me want to take two steps back so I don’t end up getting hurt. I’ve always considered myself unlucky, but at the same time, completely blessed. The randomest unpredictable bullsh*t would always happen to me. And of course it scares the bajeezus out of me.

I’m not one to talk about my relationship to anyone. I like to keep my relationship with my significant other very private. I don’t like the idea of people knowing my business when it’s not their business, or knowing things I, or my significant other did not share with them. I feel like when people know a little, or too much of your relationship, it could either be a bad or a good thing. Most of the time, it’s bad though. I don’t really know anyone who speaks of another person(s) relationship in a good way, but I’m talking from personal experience. I guess it just matters about who you share and tell things to. The people whom I love and care for dearly in my life, and trust them, I don’t ever mind telling them about my relationship with Josh. For one, it’s because I’m so happy with him that I want to just tell someone about it, or share my happiness with the ones who care about my happiness in the first place.

He makes me want to put my pride aside, and not be scared to feel or sound stupid. I’m a really stubborn and prideful person, which I hate sometimes, but when I let someone in, when I let my guards down, it takes me a lot to do so. Although I’m scared for a lot of things, and what the future has to hold, every part of me doesn’t mind.