restless,

Just the other day Kim said to me, "this is going to be your rebellious teenage years." I really thought it was funny how she would even say I'm rebellious because no one ever looked at me as bad, maybe a wild child but I still have my innocence of youth. Everyone pretty much know/think I'm a good girl though, and I finally know why she said that. I guess when Tiffy told me what her fortune teller told her, she left out the part where I was brought up. Honestly, I'm not scared though. I'm not going to stop living my life, nothing can stop me from just being myself. I am going to take it in consideration though and take cautious and be aware, I know everyone is just watching out for me and everyone is scared but like I said, the future is always changing and I can't be scared to live; otherwise what is the point of living?

All I am is happy these days, well that's all I ever try to be. But with that happiness comes other things that isn't too far away. I worry, I get scared, I'm always curious, I get hurt, I love, I hate, I'm blissful...but in the end I truly am blessed.

I went dancing with Diana the other day at The Leon Lounge (yes, I know, you're laughing or possibly even giggling and 'LOL-ing') but she was leaving to Oakland and she wanted to go since we know the people there. I really wanted her to have a fun night out with me because she really deserves it. I love my friends, honest to Buddha, I want them to be happy and I want what is best for them. I admit though, I felt like a big hypocrite for going there because all I did was make fun of it but I actually had fun. We both really made the best out of everything and it was one of the most funnest nights we had together =) Cold Flames (Cold Flamez? Gold Flamez?!) was there, one of them was really cute so we got a picture with him =) We kept dancing until our legs felt like they were falling off. I didn't dance with anyone else but Diana and the girls, I guess because I was in a relationship for two years and I didn't dance with anyone else so I felt like I didn't want to dance with any guys at all. The whole night Diana and I were together, she seriously is my one of a kind, partner in crime, girlfriend til the very end, lover & twin<3

Kat and Dotty came over yesterday, we were supposed to have a spa day but we ended up just pigging out in my kitchen and talking forever. I'm so excited for my tattoo now and our concert in September. Also going on a cruise for Kat's birthday. I look at my friends or other people and I feel sooo blessed to be really family oriented. My family is seriously my mainsqueeze and I wouldn't have it any other way.

"You guys are lesbians? Is that why you didn't want to dance with us?"

"Yeah, we're really faithful to each other."
HA HA HA HA HA, I love her<3

New tattoo idea? TOTALLLLLLY KIDDING.Now this is more like it...okay I'm totally kidding even more.

goldinuniverse.com

Name: Jennifer Anne Nguyen
Date: 7/29/2009
Colorgenics Number: 34056217


Utmost in your mind is success. You are constantly seeking stimulation and a life full of experience. You are trying to 'grow' and above all you need to develop freely and to shake off the shackles of self-doubt. You are an enthusiastic individual, full of life with the desire to live intensely. You like contact with others and are enthusiastic by nature. You are receptive to anything new, modern or intriguing. Your interests are many and you are likely to expand your fields of activities. You are optimistic about the future and you deserve every success because deep down you are a 'winner'.

Rejection is what you fear the most and it is this fear that makes you unapproachable. You are looking for acknowledgment and above all looking for people who can appreciate you for who and what you are.

The way things are, you feel that you are stuck in a rut and there is not much you can do about it. You feel frustrated and inhibited but if you can find a way to let yourself go, you may find that things aren't quite so bad as perhaps you thought they were. One consolation is that since you are an extremely emotional individual, with the right person you may be able to release some of that frustration and tension with some mutual tender loving care.

It would seem that an existing situation or relationship is unsatisfactory and you feel that there is little that you can do about it without 'some help from your friends', but you have no desire to show the world how vulnerable you really are and therefore you consider it inadvisable to display affection or be over demonstrative. You regard this particular relationship as a depressing tie and although you would like to be independent and unhampered, you don't want to run the risk of losing anything. All this leads you to react 'touchily' and with impatience, while the urge to 'get away from it all' results in considerable restlessness and stress. Your ability to concentrate may suffer.

You don't like authority and you rebel against all forms of limitation. You are your own person and you intend to stay that way and to get on in the world simply by your hard work and determination.


On the real, this is amazingly accurate and all true.

my life would be easy,

I seriously love them to deaffffffffffffffth! <3333333

Tiffy's birthday party on Saturday was a huge major success! I had sooo much fun, honest to Buddha, everything was all worth it. I love my cousins and most of all my sisters. I really love the fact how family oriented I am, they really are everything to me. It was good to see my some of my sister's old friends again and everyone said I really grew up =) I'm glad to say, I am not a light weight drinker! My new love=Mike's Hard Lemonade, I had like 3 of it that night, and I think about 47928742974 jello shots and a lot of other drinks. My fridge now has like million beers, that means, BEER PONG. And it's cute because I have this glass case in my house, and it has wine in it so Tiffy and I put the rest of the liquor in there and it looks really cute for some reason =) We're going to throw an end of the Summer party and then two more months it's my 17th birthday. I really ended up having so much fun and it made me realize how much I hate going to random parties and that I'm glad I never got caught up with partying. Dotty and Kat sleptover that night and the next morning I didn't get a hangover =) I would really hate to ever get one, so far none yet. Woke up early and ate leftover party food and then went to their house to swim. It was probably one of the bestest weekend yet.

Then yesterday morning I had about two hours of sleep. I slept at 6 AM and woke up around 8 AM to go to court for the guys' trial. I really couldn't sleep, all I was thinking about was them and how I was going to see them again. When I got to there, Connie and Khoi's mom was waiting for me. I really love Khoi's mom because although I'm just Khoi's friend, she makes me feel like her daughter somehow. Their trial ended up being postponed. As I walked out, all I did was cry. I felt like such a big baby but I really couldn't hold it in. I haven't seen them for the longest time and all I wanted to do was see them. I know I can visit the other guys but because I'm not one of their closest friends, I don't want to waste a visit, while someone really close to them can go visit them instead. I had so much emotions rushing through me. I really hope things will eventually look up for them soon. Got to have faith<3

So for my sister's birthday, one of her friend took her to a fortune teller. When she told Kim and I what the lady told her, everything made sense. The scary part was how accurate everything she said was. Honestly, I wouldn't go to a fortune teller because I don't want to know what my future is going to be like. Not only that but if I was to know something bad is going to happen, I don't want to live my life everyday scared. Right now, I know everything sucks for my family but I'm not ever going to give up. Being cursed or having bad karma, whatever it is, I'm always going to fight until the very end and hopefully I will win. Like they said, the future is always constantly changing. One small decision can affect everything and I know for sure that if I'm not happy with something, I can change it. If it's not the future I want, I will change it. I'm not going to stand around and let bad things happen and not do anything about it. I really have faith in myself and I know that everything will get better. I just know it.

still on my feet,

One more day until tiff's birthday party! I really can't wait. All the cleaning, cleaning the backyard, the house, my room, the lawn, the grass, everrrrrything! And yet it's not over with because I still have to cook tomorrow, run more errands, go to the dentist and try to get my hair done. Sososo much to do in so little time. I'm so tired and physically drained but once everything is done I can finally relax and have some fun. Surprisingly I'm still sane. I've never planned a birthday party before with a bunch of people and I never had the responsibility of being the one to get everything done. It makes me can't wait for my 17th birthday this year because I want it to be really big! =) And knowing my ohana, it's going to be sooo fun.

I couldn't visit Phoenix today for his birthday because I had so much to do but for sure I am going to visit him tomorrow and drop off his card. Even until this day, when I talk about him, it still makes me want to cry my heart out. I really wish some people took in this experience and realize what life is all about and not to grieve on what doesn't matter or the little things. Life's about living and learning and most of all, moving forward. There's nothing you can do about life, you can't stop it, you can't slow it down, you just have to enjoy the ride while you still can because anything can happen. I learn to appreciate the people in my life and I choose to not dwell on those who don't matter. Even if I end up not being friends with the people I was friends with, I'm not going to be immature towards them, I'm not going to resent or even spite them. For me, they were once my friend and I know if anything were to ever happen to them or to me for that matter, I wouldn't want a day to wake up and regret the decisions I've made. I will still respect them if they give me the same treatment because in the end, we are all human and we're all looking for one main thing in our life, a reason to be happy. I truly appreciate my friends, my sisters and most of all my mom for everything. I may not have everything life, just the things to be happy.