"You're going to find out baby, I'm one in a million."

I'm trying my best to be understanding, I'm trying my best not to care.


Because I do want you to be happy even though you can care less.


I am always the one to end up getting hurt, but it doesn't mean I'm hurt easily. It takes a whole lot to bring me down because I'm always trying to see the bright side of things and the highlight of this whole experience was that I know what I'm capable of.

I thought I would get emotionally attached, and honestly, for a second I thought I was. You're so nice to me, I mean, everyone just loves being appreciated. But then I snapped out of it. It's not worth losing anything at all because I didn't gain anything to begin with. You made my decision so much easier by your actions. All I ever wanted and needed from you was to be my friend, be there for me. It's just not worth it. We just have to be nothing but friends.

Kevin and I are going to remain close friends. I don't want to wait to try again because it's just pausing my life, I think I just don't want a relationship. That's all there is to it. But have I moved on? Am I moving on? No, I don't want to, I don't think I am yet...but maybe, possibly I've already let go. I don't feel anything about love. I miss him more than I miss having him as a boyfriend, I need him because I love him, not I love him because I need him. Obviously no matter what feelings will always be there, just the feeling of being with them, but you're just not in love with them or want them in that way anymore. I found myself, as a whole, as me. And I'm glad it all happened.


Anyway, I got Zooey this morning. She is just the sweetest pitbull ever, I seriously love her so much already. She's so silly too =) But Kevin wants to sell her so I'm just hoping to keep her for awhile longer. My mom didn't trip or anything though, but chocolate went crazy and wanted to bite her and accidentally bit me =( But it's fine, it didn't hurt or anything. If I'm selling Zooey I am getting a new pitbull :)

And my schedule for work is three days a week and I get paid weekly so about $100-200 a week. Yayyy.

I'm pretty happy with life =) Have faith<3