"I like being on my own. I think relationships are messy and people’s feelings get hurt. Who needs it?"

Yeah, I'm sitting here, with my feelings hurt. I guess because I allowed myself to feel this way. But the thing is, I never allow myself to feel anything for too long. When it comes to me and relationships, it's so easy for me to not care. I don't know. It just is. I became like this right after Kevin and I broke up. I think for the fact that with our relationship, I cared way too much that it's like an impulse thing to immediately not care now because I don't want my relationship to fail like my past one. I try to do the exact opposite of my old relationships, but somehow, I still end up getting the same results.

If I think that someone is lacking something and not truly living up to their potential as a boyfriend, then why should I waste my time, you know? I will never convince someone that I am worth the trouble, or that I am enough. Because I know I am more than enough. I shouldn't have to ask for attention, because it should be a given. I'm not like those girls that says stuff like,"if you love me you'll do this, you'll do that, etc." I don't need you to surprise me everyday, bring me flowers, reassure me our relationship through Facebook comments. I just need to know that I'm not alone in this. I've always felt as if I was alone in a relationship, like I'm the only one who shows that they care and show that they want it to work. Even though I'm the "careless" one. As tough and careless as I am, I do put my pride aside and SHOW that I care. And that for me, is one of the hardest thing to do but I do it anyway.

Don't hate other guys for trying to make me happy just because they're doing what you're not. Man, I suck at relationships and knowing what I want.